I love smoking. And smoking loves me. I have friends who are die-hard non-smokers who have said to me that smoking "suits" me. That's how convincing a smoker I am.
After 33 years of smoking, I have no physical symptoms. My heart is fine, my arteries are clear and my children will testify to my lung power. I don't have smokers cough and my skin is still wrinkle-free. I don't live in the US or UK, where smokers are increasingly ostrasised by society. Here in the Seychelles (and in Switzerland, where I lived before), smoking is quite acceptable.
So why even bother quitting?
I want to love more.
Smoking is a heart chakra issue. I've noticed that when I don't have cigarettes I feel a yearning in the anahata chakra area, a need to breathe in more deeply. If I'm upset and don't want to cry (breaking down in public simply isn't my thing) I reach for a cigarette. If I'm angry and don't want to throttle the person near me, I reach for a cigarette. If I'm feeling insecure in a social situation, I reach for a cigarette.
The latter is the reason I started smoking in the first place. I used to be a very shy teenager and forced myself to sit in cafés nonchalantly sipping at a coffee and slowly dragging on a cigarette. I perfected the art of looking cool with a cigarette in my hand. There were different phases of coolness: the vamp in a pencil skirt wearing bright red lipstick with a cigarette holder, the existentialist dressed in black and smoking Gitanes, the patchouli-smelling hippy rolling Drums.
Those were the days! Actually, it was a lot of fun, but I've realized that I am very far from that shy teenager. I am now (and have long been) a self-confident woman who doesn't give a flying f*** what people think. "You've come a long way, baby!"
I am a loving feeling person, who cannot watch horrible things in the news without crying. Forgiving others has always come easily to me and over the years I have learnt to forgive myself as well. I am passionate about people, causes and many things under the sun. Watching a sunset or walking in nature often moves me to tears of joy. I even get angry quite well ...
And yet I feel I am blocking my heart chakra. I fear that one day, I will no longer suppress my feelings consciously with a couple of drags on a cigarette, but that my emotions will no longer flow freely. Maybe I'm at the tipping point and, unconsciously, have realised this. Hence the urge to stop now.
I'll be working on my heart chakra in the next couple of weeks. Here's my plan:
Reiki, focussing on the heart
Deep breathing
Meditation for relaxation and centering in my sacred space
Walks along the beach to recharge my energies
Swim in the ocean to cleanse my energy field
Enjoy the moment to experience joy
Watch Bollywood movies to make my heart sing
And who knows, I might finally open myself so much to love, that my soul mate will show up and I can indulge in some loving sacred sex ...
"Ask and ye shall receive" I'm told. So here goes: if you like this article, please stumble, add to a social bookmarking site or donate. Thank you.
Remember the one where two mothers are sitting around discussing their children? One mother kindly says “Her child is a coward, yours is timid and mine is careful.”
My children were always what I kindly called “spirited”. Others might say “bloody-minded”. Now that they’re older, one might call them somewhat opinionated. When they were younger, this “spiritedness” often manifested as over-activity and aggressiveness towards each other. (After all, both of them were “right”.)
I never really liked the idea of seating the kids in a chair or room for a period of time as a disciplinary measure. Social ostracism works as punishment, but do we really want our children to learn only about feeling guilty and bad? Wouldn’t it be better to focus on the positive? Just sitting and doing nothing leads to brooding and mutterings of resentment which is counterproductive. I mean, aside from the handful of prisoners who find God, don’t most inmates spend their time focussing on their negative state? I feel that, just as time out of society doesn’t usually rehabilitate adults, it doesn’t do wonders for children either. Instead, the time out can be used constructively for changing the negative energy into a positive force.
When things got out of hand, instead of punishing them, I used to make the kids take a time out to sit and chant the mantra “Om Mani Padme Hum”.
Chanting “Om Mani Padme Hum” creates a state of compassion that manifests in a subtle way on a longterm basis and in the short term creates a state of calm and peace. The simple teaching of this mantra is the concept that when the heart and mind become united anything is possible. The rough translation for Om Mani Padme Hum is: "Om and salutations to the jewel of the mind that has reached the lotus of the heart".
Ask (or tell!) them to sit in the lotus or crosslegged position, close their eyes and take a few deep breaths. Then begin the chanting. I always used the “Om Mani Padme Hum”, because it is easy to remember and is very calming. It’s also more “magical” than words they know and understand and, hence, more fun and playful.
You can either sit down with them and do the meditation as well (initially, you’ll have to demonstrate it anyway) or let them get on with it. The time out meditation will soothe your frazzled nerves as well whether you participate or not.
Small children may not be able to do this time out meditation for more than a few minutes. Depending on their age, that’s all they need. Chanting the mantra won’t turn them into little buddhas overnight, but it will restore sanity and peace for a while as well as getting them started on a spiritual practice.
Later on, they may be keen on trying other meditations such as guided visualisations to a safe place or simple visualizations. As they understand more, you might add other mantras according to your spiritual tradition.
According to H.H. The Dalai Lama: "Thus the six syllables, Om Mani Padme Hum, mean that in dependence on the practice which is in indivisible union of method and wisdom, you can transform your impure body, speech and mind into the pure body, speech, and mind of a Buddha."
Ok, so my kids aren’t quite little buddhas. They are still too “spirited” for that, but they are on the path …
"Ask and ye shall receive" I'm told. So here goes: if you like this article, please stumble, add to a social bookmarking site or donate. Thank you.
This week I've been featured in two great blog carnivals.
Think Orange! Creativity and the Sacral Chakra was included in the Carnival of Creative Growth #27.
Another article of mine, Kundalini yoga left nostril breathing for insomnia, was featured in the Carnival of Healing #137.
Both carnivals are packed full with great articles from all over the internet. Please take a moment to check them out.
I noticed a lot of people from the US have come to this blog looking for information on the Seychelles Islands. I wondered what was up until I read the news and saw that Matt Lauer from the Today Show had been here. Then the penny dropped ...
Anyway, my blog on the Seychelles is Living in Seychelles. Please visit me there for more info on the Seychelles Islands.
I'v been getting itchy feet recently. I'd love to just take off and go awandering.
Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer |
 For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that's not in guidebooks. You truly have wanderlust. When you're not traveling, you're dreaming about where you'll go next. And your travels are truly legendary - they leave you with stories you'll be telling for the rest of your life! |
Virginia Woolf said that every woman needs a room of her own to be able to write. I would go further; everybody needs some sacred space of their own to survive daily life. We all have to retreat from the mundane at times and get in touch with our Spirit.
As a child, I always wanted a treehouse. It seemed like the perfect sanctuary to me, high up and hidden away from sight. In my imagination, I decorated my treehouse with exotic wall hangings and huge fluffy cushions. Unfortunately, my father had two left thumbs and couldn’t put up a shelf, let alone embark on a dwelling, however minor. Ever the resourceful child, I looked for the next best place and found it behind the Freemason’s Lodge. Nobody ever went there and it seemed sufficiently magical to qualify as a sanctuary. I spent a lot of time just sitting and dreaming and also set up a graveyard for dead birds there. I particularly enjoyed holding funerals for the poor birds. My mother called me a morbid child…
When I hit my teens, I had to go to school camps a couple of times a year. I hated communal living and always carved out a space for myself in the room by throwing an Indian shawl over a chair and setting up some kind of altar. I usually had some incense and a little figurine of some kind. The centrepiece in those days was a little box where I kept my illegal “mind-enhancing” substance …
Even as adults, we need a sanctuary from the world. A place where we can retreat and heal ourselves by getting in touch with our souls. A place to meditate and relax, to get in touch with the Divine. A physical spiritual retreat centre.
This place can be indoors or outdoors. It can be difficult to create a place of your own if you are living with others, but it is possible. If you have a spare room or a basement, consider turning it into your spiritual sanctuary instead of a guest room. If you’re more pressed for space, even a corner of your bedroom, perhaps partitioned off with a screen or curtain will do. If you don’t even have enough room to swing a cat in, a cupboard or a shelf can serve as sacred space in form of an altar. Even the tiniest space can be a focal point for your meditations or prayers.
An outdoor sacred space could be a flat rock situated in a grove of trees, a sheltered part of your garden or a corner of your balcony. A large or small Zen garden might give you peace and tranquillity. Sacred space “on the go” might be an impromptu altar on a tree stump in the woods or a rock on the beach.
Decorate your sacred space with an image that symbolizes Divinity, some candles, a mandala … whatever your intuition tells you to put in the area. I usually like to represent the four elements of fire, water, earth and air as well as Spirit. Then I’ll add on bits and pieces that I am intuitively guided to place there. Also, if I want to manifest something, I will put a vision board or something representing my desire on my altar.
Some people like to consecrate their sacred space with a ritual. I personally feel this isn’t necessary; the intent and setting up is usually enough consecration. Spending time in your sacred space also adds to the energetic charge of the place. Try and take a few moments to meditate or just “be” in your sanctuary every day.
And who knows, you might even get inspired to write a book or two in your room of your own…
You don't have to be an ascetic to become enlightened. On the contrary, if you don't know what you are doing, celibacy can be harmful. You won't actually get blue balls, but suppressing your sexuality without properly sublimating it, can lead to the repressed energy surfacing in destructive ways, both on a psycho-spiritual and physic level. Many a war has been waged due to individual or mass sexual frustration and suppression. Think Crusades, think Troy, think contemporary wars and violence on the streets ...
Although most of the major religions have advocated a path of asceticism as the preferred path to enlightenment, there has always been another path for the more hedonistically inclined amongst us. Humans thousands of years ago cultivated the art of pleasure to transcend into higher dimensions of consciousness. The ritual of hieros gamos (sacred marriage) with temple prostitutes in India, the Near East and even in Ancient Rome. was a way to achieve union with the Divine. More recently, Alistair Crowley and other ceremonial magicians used sex magic to "manipulate consciousness" and reach a higher state of awareness. Pagans participate in the Great Rite, Native Americans practice a form of sacred sex known as Quadoshka and Tantric Yoga of Indian origin and Chinese Taoist sexual practices are gaining popularity in the West as a means of spiritual transformation.
Sacred sex is not about having better orgasms or about becoming a better lover (although both are nice side effects). Sacred sex is more a philosophy of Divine love, a letting go and surrendering with the goal of merging with the Universe. The basic idea is that, if the world is an expression of divinity, then all in it must be Divine, worthy to be worshipped rather than renounced. And this, of course, includes seeing and worshipping divinity in and through the "Other".
Spiritual transformation through sacred sex is achieved by making love with the heart, not just the genitals and involves a co-mingling of physical, emotional and spiritual love. Think of it as a mutual meditation and turn the sexual act into a ritual. In Tantra, this ritual is called Maithuna.
Take a ritual bath together. Light candles, scent the room with sandalwood, play some soft or meditative music. Massage each other with aromatherapy oils. A mixture of sandalwood and ylang ylang is a wonderful aphrodisiac for both body and soul. You could also try a yoni massage or lingam massage as part of the ritual. Use your imagination and try and "feel" your partner's desires. Give love whilst engaging all your senses. After gentle penetration (the yab-yum position shown above is very relaxed), remain motionless and concentrate on the energy flowing between you. Breathe deeply, synchronizing your breathing with your partner's, whilst gazing into each other's eyes. Contract your pubic muscles and visualise energy flowing from your genitals up your spine to the crown of your head. Remain relaxed and hold the energy within, resisting the urge to orgasm until the orgasmic energy is overflowing. Finally, when you can no longer contain the energy, let go and surrender into union. Let barriers dissolve to envelope your partner as you both merge into one. Feel the energy spread through your entire being and bask in the afterglow of love. ..
Still committed to asceticism?
